A change

It’s when we have a million words to say

That we never find the right ones….

And when a million actions cannot express

The right words you want to say

When we see with our eyes

And not our hearts or our heads

When tears u hide….

Escape without warning

When wounds we thought had healed

Open and hurt as new

When u want to receive a smile

And all you get is a frown

Where we want love …

All we get is misunderstanding and hate

When in place of hellos

We have to say goodbyes…

It’s when we understand…

How a word, a gesture, or a vision, a tear ... 

A wound a smile, a love, or just simply a hello

Can change our lives in a second….

And again she lowered her eyes

And again she lowered her eyes

Not in guilt

But to hide the reality

That the others would notice

The tears had no effect on them anymore

They just would not notice

And again she lowered her eyes

Careful not to step

On the broken pieces of her heart

Scattered everywhere

They just could not notice

And again she lowered her eyes

Not knowing where to look

And it rained that night

A blessing in disguise

They just would not notice

And again she lowered her eyes

As she saw her life pass by

Red streams flowing

Making patterns on the wet ground

They just would not notice

And again she lowered her eyes

One last time

A long breathe... an empty sigh

No smiles... not even a good bye...

Here in the corner alone she shall die

And they just would not notice

had written it some time back just found it so thought to share....

as days pass by...

i ask my life

what have i yet to see

My life as always replies to me

Wait and watch... full of surprises it will be...

but never does it tell me 

whether the surprises will be good or bad...

or will they be happy or will they be sad...

and as life passes me by...

i wonder ... is this what was in store for me...

 i welcome it with open arms 

and yes a little fear deep within

for when the tears start to flow

life seems to move very slow...

its seems that the time had stopped around me...

but i can see others move

busy on their way...

each and everyday

but i am still there..... wondering...

and then sometimes i wonder if i wonder a lot...

and i don't know.. its just a thought

and then a miracle....

i discover a me...

find all the colors

that i want in my life to be

and then again a shower of tears...

again the heart filled with fears...

this follows again and again....

i don't know where it started ...

i don't know when it will end....

then appears a ray of hope...

followed by thunder storms...

life is like nightmares in all its forms...

and then finally my ship reaches new shore...

i spread my wings and upward i soar 

into the bright sunlight... tears no more

but then again a dark cloud some how i see

hidden in the vast skies waiting for me

in it holds tears from which i know i cannot flee 

i don't want to fall

neither be in front of a wall

not knowing what to do

fear lingering within...

feeling very blue....

and then again at times i feel...

do i take life by the hand 

and go where i want  to......

sometime i think this is long overdue...

alone into a world all new....

i tell my life stay next to me 

look at the colors ...

see how beautiful u can be....

the colors the laughters 

the happily ever afters...

now my life has to decide...

whether to give me tears 

or share a smile by my side...

come my life come with me... 

a whole new world for us to see 

everything has changed 

nothing is the same...

tired am i to see u so lost...

alone i left with no one to be my guide...

and discovered the paths i had left untried....

with these tears i am tired 

it has been quite a while....

now i really wish to smile ...

i really want to smile.......

I wonder today

As here I stand...

A bit lonely, a lot scared

In an unknown land

My thoughts fly

They love to be here

I want to reach out to someone

But I don’t know to look where!

Even in the bright light

I sense the darkness within...

I smile all times

But there’s this feeling I miss something

My heart wants to trust again

But is scared to do so

I want the child within to go free

But cannot, why I don’t know!!!

I want to talk, but I fear the words that will come

I want to say so much...

But only through ink I can express some...

Sitting here wondering

I let out a sigh.....

I am surrounded by my friends, my family

Yet so alone I find myself, I don’t know why?...

The inner noise the empty words

Heart, love, eyes, mind
Discover, feel, lost, find
Build, break, hate, kiss
Longing, need, close, miss
Morning, evening, night, day
Fears, tears, touch, faraway
Sun, moon, water, fire
Sadness, pain, want, desire
Words, thoughts, meanings, kind
Light, vision, night, blind
The wind , the sun, the waves, the sea
The loneliness, the craving, us both, but now only me
But now only me....

How do I describe this pain…?

This longing for you…?

The want, the desire…

The kiss, the touch…

The emotions, the feel…

The need of your words

The sweet nothings in my ears…

How do I describe this pain…?

The eyes, their tears

The smile their cheers…

Walking together

Holding hands…

The presence,

Now there is just an empty space

How do I describe this pain…?

When I see u with her

And I will have to smile

Through all my tears…

For I cannot show you

How I really feel!

How do I describe this pain…?

When I will see you

Holding her hand

Looking in her eyes…

The same way you looked in mine

With emotions that I thought

Were only there for me

How do I describe this pain…?

When I see you touch her

How do I tell myself to be fine?

You told me, it’s never too late

To tell someone how you feel

But I cannot tell you now

How I feel about you…

How do I describe this pain…?

When I have to act…

As if nothing happened

How do I explain myself?

Questions arise …

To which answers I have none…

And it hurts…

For I really don’t know

How do I describe this pain…!!!

The heart cries…

For reasons it cannot disclose…

Smiles mask the tears…

For reasons it alone knows…

It tells me not….

Why the tears flow…?

It frowns a lot

The smile too, has lost its glow

The sad eyes stare

Sore and all red

Into nothingness with despair

Expressions all dead

Just a smile…

Remains on the face

It will be there awhile

And shall leave without a trace

All that shall remain …

In my heart is emptiness…

A bit of sadness again…

And a whole lot of loneliness…

A flicker of hope

Lights up but soon dies

I don’t know how my heart shall cope

In the world of deceit and lies…

I want it to smile again

For tears many it has seen

I want for it no more pain

But a love true and a beginning serene