What do i explain to my tears?

To my heart which holds the fears?

Will i see him again?...

Hold him in my arms

Tell me oh fate...

At what are you playing

Causing so much pain 

The mind is going insane

The longing for him grows 

In me along with certain thoughts

Tell me oh fate...

At what are you playing

The night has lost its sleep

The dreams are gone; the eyes 

Only nightmares keep

At a distance a hope flickers

And dies out

Tell me oh fate...

At what are you playing

I wish, to him, i could fly

For without him, I will surely die

I don't know what to think 

The pain is still there

Tell me oh fate...

At what are you playing

The time just keeps getting longer

How long have i to be a bit stronger?

This night has no day

For in its light there is no way

Tell me oh fate...

At what are you playing...

Words just flow
They come from where
I don't know
Heart heavy of emotions
Eyes trying to hold back tears
Mind full of commotion
Every breath weighing me down
Trying not to sigh
Smiling to hide a frown
Answers I am trying to find
Of questions never asked
But which still haunt the mind
Of courage, of trust, of love found
Of soulmates of future
Where together we are bound
A road of recovery
The road ignored before
Of true interests, hope and self-discovery
An adventure waiting to unfold
A future full of trials n triumphs
A story that will be told....

In these times uncertain...

I continue to exist

Asking myself questions…

Of what am I to do?

What am I to become?

Answers always I find none…

The words that I carry in me

Weigh me down

I want to share

With those, who for me care!

But what they hear are only words…

Never the feeling, the emotions they carry…

Never the thoughts behind them…

They are blind to the pain of my heart

How I wish for them to take some time…

Just listen to what I have to say

And not consider my speech as just words

How I wish they could see …

The terrors that continue to haunt me…

The fear that eats me from within

The tears that flow inspite of the smile…

Hear me as I call out to you

Stand by me in what I want to do

Please don’t pull me down

Don’t cut off the wings

You gave me to explore the world

Accept me as I am…

Accept what I want to do…

I cannot be far away

I am and will be always there for both of you….

A change

It’s when we have a million words to say

That we never find the right ones….

And when a million actions cannot express

The right words you want to say

When we see with our eyes

And not our hearts or our heads

When tears u hide….

Escape without warning

When wounds we thought had healed

Open and hurt as new

When u want to receive a smile

And all you get is a frown

Where we want love …

All we get is misunderstanding and hate

When in place of hellos

We have to say goodbyes…

It’s when we understand…

How a word, a gesture, or a vision, a tear ... 

A wound a smile, a love, or just simply a hello

Can change our lives in a second….

And again she lowered her eyes

And again she lowered her eyes

Not in guilt

But to hide the reality

That the others would notice

The tears had no effect on them anymore

They just would not notice

And again she lowered her eyes

Careful not to step

On the broken pieces of her heart

Scattered everywhere

They just could not notice

And again she lowered her eyes

Not knowing where to look

And it rained that night

A blessing in disguise

They just would not notice

And again she lowered her eyes

As she saw her life pass by

Red streams flowing

Making patterns on the wet ground

They just would not notice

And again she lowered her eyes

One last time

A long breathe... an empty sigh

No smiles... not even a good bye...

Here in the corner alone she shall die

And they just would not notice

had written it some time back just found it so thought to share....

as days pass by...

i ask my life

what have i yet to see

My life as always replies to me

Wait and watch... full of surprises it will be...

but never does it tell me 

whether the surprises will be good or bad...

or will they be happy or will they be sad...

and as life passes me by...

i wonder ... is this what was in store for me...

 i welcome it with open arms 

and yes a little fear deep within

for when the tears start to flow

life seems to move very slow...

its seems that the time had stopped around me...

but i can see others move

busy on their way...

each and everyday

but i am still there..... wondering...

and then sometimes i wonder if i wonder a lot...

and i don't know.. its just a thought

and then a miracle....

i discover a me...

find all the colors

that i want in my life to be

and then again a shower of tears...

again the heart filled with fears...

this follows again and again....

i don't know where it started ...

i don't know when it will end....

then appears a ray of hope...

followed by thunder storms...

life is like nightmares in all its forms...

and then finally my ship reaches new shore...

i spread my wings and upward i soar 

into the bright sunlight... tears no more

but then again a dark cloud some how i see

hidden in the vast skies waiting for me

in it holds tears from which i know i cannot flee 

i don't want to fall

neither be in front of a wall

not knowing what to do

fear lingering within...

feeling very blue....

and then again at times i feel...

do i take life by the hand 

and go where i want  to......

sometime i think this is long overdue...

alone into a world all new....

i tell my life stay next to me 

look at the colors ...

see how beautiful u can be....

the colors the laughters 

the happily ever afters...

now my life has to decide...

whether to give me tears 

or share a smile by my side...

come my life come with me... 

a whole new world for us to see 

everything has changed 

nothing is the same...

tired am i to see u so lost...

alone i left with no one to be my guide...

and discovered the paths i had left untried....

with these tears i am tired 

it has been quite a while....

now i really wish to smile ...

i really want to smile.......

I wonder today

As here I stand...

A bit lonely, a lot scared

In an unknown land

My thoughts fly

They love to be here

I want to reach out to someone

But I don’t know to look where!

Even in the bright light

I sense the darkness within...

I smile all times

But there’s this feeling I miss something

My heart wants to trust again

But is scared to do so

I want the child within to go free

But cannot, why I don’t know!!!

I want to talk, but I fear the words that will come

I want to say so much...

But only through ink I can express some...

Sitting here wondering

I let out a sigh.....

I am surrounded by my friends, my family

Yet so alone I find myself, I don’t know why?...