A Careless Observation...

I saw threee birds flying
In the sky today
Which was filled with wiffs of grey clouds
And no sight of the wind
But in the flight of the birds
You could feel its strenght
Yet the leaves on the trees and the ground
Stood still...
Bathed in different hues of automne
Waiting to travel
With the wind
Which seemed to favour
The three birds flying high
Instead of the leaves
On the trees and ground
Standing amazingly still...

Just stumbled upon something i'd written a long time ago

Of me what do i say
A simple human being
Trying to find the way
i seek not riches
nor do i seek fame...
I just long for my love and me
to meet again

Thoughts...

You talk to me of the wonders of the world
And I will tell you of what lies beyond the deep blue skies
I never have been there, but I)'ve imagined a whole lot of things
Imaginations... gives birth to a whole lot of incertainties
And imaginations also gives birth to hope
For something that you have not done or experienced before
But still plan to do...
It means not that you shall be bad at it
And then again maybe yes!
Look at it, it's just another opportunity; to learn
Just another opportunity to grow
Growing... You can never stop yourself from growing
You are capable of growing in all aspects of life
And not just life... you grow in death also !
Though not physically, but in peoples' memories
Memories... the one thing that will keep you always alive
But then again memories fade away...
And to to that it takes it own sweet time
Time ... it's something always in scarce supply
And thus wisely should it be spent...
So when i finesh telling you of what lies beyond the deep blue skies...
My love; will you talk to me of the wonders of the world!!!

A thousand words written in ink...
Ink, expressing all the emotions...
All the emotions in the same colour...
The same colour, talking of our feelings...
Our feelings, all of them so different...
So different, various as the thoughts
The thoughts, that float through the mind
The mind, that  helps one to dream
The dream that gives hope to the heart
The heart expresses itself through the pen
The pen which writes a thousand words...

When every breath
Is reduced to a sigh
And when supposed to sleep
All you do is lie in bed with tears in each eye

They say its difficult to smile
When all you want to do is cry
I say its even more difficult to live
When every moment strengthens the urge to die

A tear rolls down
Quickly followed by another
A sharp pain
Leaves me breathless
The mind goes numb
Incapable to anything feel
The eyes blur
A thing they cannot percieve
And what remains of all this
Is just a fake smile
For the world to see
Ignorant is everyone
Of the destruction happening
Within me

They say they love me...

And still they let me cry..

They say they love me ...

And stillthe don't wipe my tears dry...

They say they love  me ...

And still they don't see the hope in me die???

They say they love me ...

And still they don't know in what my happines, my smiles lie...

They say they love me ...

And still they don't in me trust

They say they love me ...

And still they let my love gather dust

They say they love me ... 

And still they claim of giving me what i want

They say they love me  ...

And still they are unaware of the anxieties that me haunt

They say they love me ...

And still don't know why somuch i sigh

They say they love me ...

And still they don't realiseif i don't get my love 

I shall just give up and die...

Sans toi...

Le réveil sonne 

Je me tourne pour te réveiller..

Et Puis je réalise que t'es pas là...

Encore un jour qui commence sans toi...

Je prends deux tasses 

Pour me faire du thé et pour toi un chaud chocolat

Et puis je réalise 

Que t'es pas là

Encore un petit dej sans toi...

Le midi se passe

En pensant à toi

Encore un aprém' s'écoule sans toi

Puis arrive le soir

Je veux te parler mais j'ai plus forfait..

L'internet est mon seule espoir..

Encore un soir 

Je suis toute seule sans toi

Enfin c'est nuit

Je sais pas ce que tu cuis 

J'essaie de dormir seule dans le lit

Encore une nuit se déroule sans toi...

Mais dans tout ça....

Le temps passe vite..

Et je me dis que bientôt 

Je serai avec toi...

Pour toujours mon amour avec toi

What do i explain to my tears?

To my heart which holds the fears?

Will i see him again?...

Hold him in my arms

Tell me oh fate...

At what are you playing

Causing so much pain 

The mind is going insane

The longing for him grows 

In me along with certain thoughts

Tell me oh fate...

At what are you playing

The night has lost its sleep

The dreams are gone; the eyes 

Only nightmares keep

At a distance a hope flickers

And dies out

Tell me oh fate...

At what are you playing

I wish, to him, i could fly

For without him, I will surely die

I don't know what to think 

The pain is still there

Tell me oh fate...

At what are you playing

The time just keeps getting longer

How long have i to be a bit stronger?

This night has no day

For in its light there is no way

Tell me oh fate...

At what are you playing...

Words just flow
They come from where
I don't know
Heart heavy of emotions
Eyes trying to hold back tears
Mind full of commotion
Every breath weighing me down
Trying not to sigh
Smiling to hide a frown
Answers I am trying to find
Of questions never asked
But which still haunt the mind
Of courage, of trust, of love found
Of soulmates of future
Where together we are bound
A road of recovery
The road ignored before
Of true interests, hope and self-discovery
An adventure waiting to unfold
A future full of trials n triumphs
A story that will be told....

In these times uncertain...

I continue to exist

Asking myself questions…

Of what am I to do?

What am I to become?

Answers always I find none…

The words that I carry in me

Weigh me down

I want to share

With those, who for me care!

But what they hear are only words…

Never the feeling, the emotions they carry…

Never the thoughts behind them…

They are blind to the pain of my heart

How I wish for them to take some time…

Just listen to what I have to say

And not consider my speech as just words

How I wish they could see …

The terrors that continue to haunt me…

The fear that eats me from within

The tears that flow inspite of the smile…

Hear me as I call out to you

Stand by me in what I want to do

Please don’t pull me down

Don’t cut off the wings

You gave me to explore the world

Accept me as I am…

Accept what I want to do…

I cannot be far away

I am and will be always there for both of you….

A change

It’s when we have a million words to say

That we never find the right ones….

And when a million actions cannot express

The right words you want to say

When we see with our eyes

And not our hearts or our heads

When tears u hide….

Escape without warning

When wounds we thought had healed

Open and hurt as new

When u want to receive a smile

And all you get is a frown

Where we want love …

All we get is misunderstanding and hate

When in place of hellos

We have to say goodbyes…

It’s when we understand…

How a word, a gesture, or a vision, a tear ... 

A wound a smile, a love, or just simply a hello

Can change our lives in a second….

And again she lowered her eyes

And again she lowered her eyes

Not in guilt

But to hide the reality

That the others would notice

The tears had no effect on them anymore

They just would not notice

And again she lowered her eyes

Careful not to step

On the broken pieces of her heart

Scattered everywhere

They just could not notice

And again she lowered her eyes

Not knowing where to look

And it rained that night

A blessing in disguise

They just would not notice

And again she lowered her eyes

As she saw her life pass by

Red streams flowing

Making patterns on the wet ground

They just would not notice

And again she lowered her eyes

One last time

A long breathe... an empty sigh

No smiles... not even a good bye...

Here in the corner alone she shall die

And they just would not notice

had written it some time back just found it so thought to share....

as days pass by...

i ask my life

what have i yet to see

My life as always replies to me

Wait and watch... full of surprises it will be...

but never does it tell me 

whether the surprises will be good or bad...

or will they be happy or will they be sad...

and as life passes me by...

i wonder ... is this what was in store for me...

 i welcome it with open arms 

and yes a little fear deep within

for when the tears start to flow

life seems to move very slow...

its seems that the time had stopped around me...

but i can see others move

busy on their way...

each and everyday

but i am still there..... wondering...

and then sometimes i wonder if i wonder a lot...

and i don't know.. its just a thought

and then a miracle....

i discover a me...

find all the colors

that i want in my life to be

and then again a shower of tears...

again the heart filled with fears...

this follows again and again....

i don't know where it started ...

i don't know when it will end....

then appears a ray of hope...

followed by thunder storms...

life is like nightmares in all its forms...

and then finally my ship reaches new shore...

i spread my wings and upward i soar 

into the bright sunlight... tears no more

but then again a dark cloud some how i see

hidden in the vast skies waiting for me

in it holds tears from which i know i cannot flee 

i don't want to fall

neither be in front of a wall

not knowing what to do

fear lingering within...

feeling very blue....

and then again at times i feel...

do i take life by the hand 

and go where i want  to......

sometime i think this is long overdue...

alone into a world all new....

i tell my life stay next to me 

look at the colors ...

see how beautiful u can be....

the colors the laughters 

the happily ever afters...

now my life has to decide...

whether to give me tears 

or share a smile by my side...

come my life come with me... 

a whole new world for us to see 

everything has changed 

nothing is the same...

tired am i to see u so lost...

alone i left with no one to be my guide...

and discovered the paths i had left untried....

with these tears i am tired 

it has been quite a while....

now i really wish to smile ...

i really want to smile.......

I wonder today

As here I stand...

A bit lonely, a lot scared

In an unknown land

My thoughts fly

They love to be here

I want to reach out to someone

But I don’t know to look where!

Even in the bright light

I sense the darkness within...

I smile all times

But there’s this feeling I miss something

My heart wants to trust again

But is scared to do so

I want the child within to go free

But cannot, why I don’t know!!!

I want to talk, but I fear the words that will come

I want to say so much...

But only through ink I can express some...

Sitting here wondering

I let out a sigh.....

I am surrounded by my friends, my family

Yet so alone I find myself, I don’t know why?...

The inner noise the empty words

Heart, love, eyes, mind
Discover, feel, lost, find
Build, break, hate, kiss
Longing, need, close, miss
Morning, evening, night, day
Fears, tears, touch, faraway
Sun, moon, water, fire
Sadness, pain, want, desire
Words, thoughts, meanings, kind
Light, vision, night, blind
The wind , the sun, the waves, the sea
The loneliness, the craving, us both, but now only me
But now only me....

How do I describe this pain…?

This longing for you…?

The want, the desire…

The kiss, the touch…

The emotions, the feel…

The need of your words

The sweet nothings in my ears…

How do I describe this pain…?

The eyes, their tears

The smile their cheers…

Walking together

Holding hands…

The presence,

Now there is just an empty space

How do I describe this pain…?

When I see u with her

And I will have to smile

Through all my tears…

For I cannot show you

How I really feel!

How do I describe this pain…?

When I will see you

Holding her hand

Looking in her eyes…

The same way you looked in mine

With emotions that I thought

Were only there for me

How do I describe this pain…?

When I see you touch her

How do I tell myself to be fine?

You told me, it’s never too late

To tell someone how you feel

But I cannot tell you now

How I feel about you…

How do I describe this pain…?

When I have to act…

As if nothing happened

How do I explain myself?

Questions arise …

To which answers I have none…

And it hurts…

For I really don’t know

How do I describe this pain…!!!

The heart cries…

For reasons it cannot disclose…

Smiles mask the tears…

For reasons it alone knows…

It tells me not….

Why the tears flow…?

It frowns a lot

The smile too, has lost its glow

The sad eyes stare

Sore and all red

Into nothingness with despair

Expressions all dead

Just a smile…

Remains on the face

It will be there awhile

And shall leave without a trace

All that shall remain …

In my heart is emptiness…

A bit of sadness again…

And a whole lot of loneliness…

A flicker of hope

Lights up but soon dies

I don’t know how my heart shall cope

In the world of deceit and lies…

I want it to smile again

For tears many it has seen

I want for it no more pain

But a love true and a beginning serene

The man for me

Over a small talk

I was asked by my friend

With what type of a man

Would I, my life, like to spend?

I thought for a while

And then I smiled

And as I described to him

I could feel my heart go wild

I want someone

Who knows how to smile

To make every moment together

A memory worthwhile

Someone whom I can trust

Right from the start

Someone who still guards

The child in his heart

Someone who has...

That mischievous twinkle in his eyes

His feet firm on the ground

Yet aims for the skies

Money, yes

But it matters not that much

Who without talking

Can say a thousand things with his touch

Someone who loves

The cuisine of the world

And sometimes with a book

Stay under the blankets all day curled

Someone who is not afraid

Of something new to learn

Or for little things in life

Show his concern

Someone who in little things

Finds beauty

Someone who never

Runs away from his duty

Someone who knows what a family is

And what he wants his to be

Someone who is not afraid to share

His sorrows, feeling and emotions with me

Someone who knows

How to have fun

And at the end of the day

Love to drink wine and stare at the setting sun

Someone who understands me

Without me having it, to aloud say

Someone with whom

I’d love to end and begin my every day

Someone who loves music

And to walk on wet sand

Someone who will always be there

To hold my hand

There are many more things

That I search in my man

Sometimes I think it’s impossible to find him

But I hope someday I can...

Find that someone

Who knows how to live his life

And if everything goes well, then someday

We shall be together as man and wife...

Invisible I am....

Invisible to the world
Invisible to all around
But me. for I can see myself
To what I was
To what I have become
A failure.... A success???...
Just another face in the crowd
A face amongst the thousands around me???...

Invisible to the world
Invisible to all around
But not to the person I see in the mirror
Day in day out, I see myself change
I am getting invisible day by day
In a world where I want to be someone
A face not lost in the crowd
A face welcomed with applause
But I continue to be invisible

Invisible to the world
Invisible to all around
But then again I think...
What will I do being visible?
Strive to be invisible again!!!
To get back the privacy of my life...
Or just bask in the glory of visibility
This is something that I often ask myself
And to the person I see in the mirror

Invisible to the world
Invisible to all around
Especially to those..
By whom I want to be seen
From what I was
What I really am...
To what I think...what I feel!!!
But then again
To them... Invisible I am

Invisible to the world
Invisible to all around
But does it really matter?...
Whether I am invisible or not!..
For I am visible to me
Even though just in the mirror
Thankful for I can atleast see myself...
In this world full of invisibility
From what I was...To what I have become...